Travelling..

Just back from kl after attending a bugdy's wedding.. Got in to the office early today, so thought I'd just pen some random thoughts on some things that crossed my mind..

Was an interesting trip all in all, and considering that I have been well rested after switching to my new job, this was something a little different. As usual, going back to kl is a chore; getting a bus ticket, making sure the car has sufficient petrol when I get back from kl, getting gifts, packing up.. that just filled my Friday evening up to the brim and when I finally was ready, I had half an hour to get to the bus station for departure. Lucky for me, the single seater beside my seat was not taken. And I hopped over and had a nice comfortable trip back.

Going back to Singapore is an entirely different experience. No single seater, had an aunty and her two aunty friends sitting beside me going "ah boy ah.. blanket hai pin tou ah, ah boy ah.... toilet hai pin tou ah". By the fifth "ah boy ah.." I had to pretend that I was asleep. And there was this 'niang niang chiang' guy talking on the phone behind me in cantonese... he was talking so loud and uttering so much obscenities, I wished for that moment that I didn't know cantonese. The guy beside him didn't seem to mind though, or obviously, he didn't know cantonese.

Finally, when I got back, it felt really nice... took a nice hot bath and got to bed..

Guests...102

I remember writing a post on guests with some animal pics.... well, back then, the bug was still available... tomorrow, I'll be travelling back to my hometown to go for the bug's big day. Somehow, I just feel glad that he is tying the knot... not that I can finally get rid of him, but the bug needs someone to make sure he collects enough corn for the winter.. I guess this time, the bug got hitched with a nice ladybug, one that appreciates anime and watches inuyasha..


The chicken who was awol the other time, will continue to be awol this time... no worries.. we all know he is tending to his baby chick and probably playing magic with ah sou in Taiping.. but the next time we meet... the chicken better be ready with the chick and six decks of Timespiral Block constructed... wonder if married bug will do better than single bug...


The bunny thought it was a trend to go awol, and decided to go awol after reading some comments on the cbox..

The old bug...

Whilst having breakfast with some colleagues this morning, we were visited by an old friend.. one that was crawling on the wall right beside where we our food was.. instinctively, we got up and out and decided to shift to somewhere else... conversation on the topic of our old friend, better known as 'the roach' started off with us confiding that we were all afraid of roaches..
Recalling an incident, a colleague mentioned that he once had a visit from our flying friend whilst having a bath... then another colleague mentioned that the HDB void deck was a frequent flyer congregation joint..
I distinctively remembered, during schooling days, having a roach climb into my shoe...and having it removed only two hours later at school when I felt something prickly under the sole of my feet.. that old bug probably suffocated under the pressure or smell of my socks..
So, it isn't that bad that everyone was in a way or two affected by the bug.. we even had some time to discuss on effective ways of removal of our friend...
SO if you're out there and have a fear of roaches... don't worry, you are not alone..

Good Days...

Got an e-mail this morning from one of my former bosses with a joke and a note that read "Just wanted to keep in touch with you" or something like that. Just ringed a bell that I haven't spent much time contacting my buddies from my previous company... well, moving to a new place is what most people would want, considering that the grass looks greener on the other side, but there are things that you'd have to give up each and every time you move.
One of those things are buddies and friends. Well, just yesterday, my other half asked if I kept in touch with a friend.. and it caught me that, apart from some morning e-mails that didn't last five seconds, I really haven't heard from most of my buddies!... or put it another way, they probably haven't heard from me! I do miss them though... wonderful guys and girls whose priceless conversations and jokes were nothing short of being memorable. Well, I know they know this is not the last they will see from me, but keeping that in mind, I guess I'll start sending some e-mails or calling up some colleagues and friends when I have the time...
Lastly, guys and girls, whoever you are, if you're reading this, don't just sit there! Start writing! hehehe...

Eek... Black Cloud!...

Last Saturday was one of those days, when you get up on the wrong side of the bed and realise that a cloud hangs above you.

First, a wonderful colleague gives me a call early in the morning before I woke up to tell me that my name is in the first page of the Straits Times for commiting a crime and that I should get a copy of the newspapers. Not that I am guilty or something, but I went down to the shop just to get a copy of the papers, just in case. After reading the front page, I realised that my colleague had a reading problem and that he didn't realise that my name is not Tan Tun Jin! (Apologies Steven....for the newspaper cutting I sent years ago..)





In the process of getting the paper however, I was blocked by this lady carrying a baby. When I moved left, she moved left, when I moved right, she moved right... It was only when she said "Hoi" that I realise that she was my ex-classmate.. blur... had a brief chat and just as I headed up the steps, her hubby sms'es me to tell me that I received a parking fine... After getting the newspapers, I got to the car and drove out. Being distraught over the days happenings, I almost crossed a red light but managed to brake just in time. Got a headache that afternoon and decided to swallow some panadol and sleep the day off... On the flip side, managed to catch Jewel in the Palace though... which was a ray of light in the cloud..

Snake Eater....not the ps2 guy..

When people make a comment like "kia lai kia ke ah?" when they see me, I usually get flustered and feel insulted. The statement meant 'loitering around' which indirectly hinted that you were 'eating snake' or 'lazing from work'. Now, in my new company, 'eating snake' takes a whole new perspective.
Firstly, we have defined a fixed schedule of which we should eat parts of the snake at different time schedules, once at 10.30am and another at 3.00pm. This part of the snake is actually quite important in that we have an opportunity to build relationships over a nice cup of hot tea.
Of course, there are impromptu 'snake eating' activities throughout the day.. these events happen once in a blue moon and are called 'attending courses'. Of course then, it would be better to choose correct parts of a snake to eat... coz eating a wrong part may cause indigestion and require you to do something called 'work' or 'present your findings'.
Then there are those little snakes called 'discussions', which you make an instant cup of coffee or tea and have small talks over menial issues to resolve and decide what are defined as good and bad snakes.
Just last week, we had some colleagues complaining just how bad the snakes they ate were. Until they realise that there is no good point to eating bad snakes, these people would probably continue eating bad snakes.
Ok now you know I'm damned bored.. plus I have a viral infection which is probably affecting my brain...haha
Gotta go for the next session... it's 3.30pm!

Geocities is out...

So I have to store images here.. aiks..

'Fai chai choong geh fai chai'... direct translated, 'retarded stick of retarded sticks'

This probably fits into my top ten list of most excruciating moments of my working life!... It is quite common for organisations to hire consultants and specialists to guide them on new initiatives.. this week was one of those weeks where my company had hired a specialist to give us a talk on 'the way forward' and what we were supposed to do to progress in our field of work. So, they arranged a 2 day session in which the 'consultant' who graduated from Harvard and had a long list of accolades to share his experiences and give us some guidance on his expert topic.
On the first day of his lecture, he started off with some background material which we thought were basic but would probably last for just a few slides before we went into material proper. The next few slides were again of the same basic material which consisted of general statement on what we were doing. Giving the 'consultant' the benefit of doubt, we listened on, hoping that we would get some information that would help us on what we were doing. An hour passed, and he was still going on and on repeating the same basic material which had no substance and not even the inkling of knowledge of which a person of his stature would have. Two hours passed, an he was still talking about things which everyone, including those that have just joined the company, knew. Four hours later, and after a long day of going through what seemed to be an english literature lesson rather than a seminar from a professional, he changed the topic. While everyone was hoping that the seminar would finally start with some good material, he went on talking about a topic which was totally unrelated to what we are doing. Seems like his strategy was to speak profusely and incoherently, confuse everyone and hope that no one would notice. Everytime someone made an query, he would answer with a 'yes, I totally agree' or 'thank you, thats a very good point'. And every sentence seemed to start of with 'I don't know much about this' or 'I don't know anything about this'. The half day session ended with everyone wondering what we would be exposed to the following day.
Day 2. After sitting through day 1, it felt as though higher management had given up and decided to dissapear from the talk. Less than half the management that came for day 1 turned up. Wonder if it is due to work responsibilities. This time it was a little different. When I say a little, I really mean 'a little'! The expert drew the same things he drew on day 1, spoke the same stuff he did in day 1, and continued on and on like there was no tomorrow and his life depended on it. Half the people in the room were asleep this time. And he had the audacity to make sarcastic comments like, 'I hope the back people are all tested on this'. Basically, as one of my buddies put it, the entire day could probably be summarised into 3 words. Well, its a skill for him to be able to talk about 3 words for 3 days! It's like a bloody 1 word per day! I told a buddy that the only thing that I probably gained from the entire lecture is a flowchart which looked pretty good, which I could use as a template for my future slides. He had probably 20 odd slides to go before the end of the day, and with one sentence, ' you guys could probably read this yourself', he teleported his presentation to the last page and ended his presentation.
Day 3. This time, even at the beginning of the morning, most attendees were asleep. Not that I was asleep. I was just in deep thought. It was a half day session, and foreseeing that this was the last day of torture, most of us were glad that this is ending soon. He started off with some material, and a few guys actually raised some questions. This is an example of how it went;
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Attendee: I would like to ask if you could share your experience on how to make noodles.
Torturer: Lets see, noodles is in this book and here it is, the definition of noodles is a flour like material, and I'm not good at noodles. You may consider making pasta, and if you like rice, you can also make nasi lemak instead of noodles. Alternatively, if you don't like food, you can go fishing. Now where were we...
Attendee and entire lecture hall: *Blur*
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Half way through, i was restraining myself and getting help from the person beside me to prevent me from going to the front and hitting him. Its a miracle that organisations pay tons of money to engage such @#&^%% (I can't even describe them) to give talks and lectures. I have been through so many talks by local experts and they are so much better and give better insight to their topic of interest. This kinda guy, I seriously wonder if he payed his way through Harvard.

We are queueing for...?

Went for the NATAS Travel Fair at the Expo last Saturday. Getting advice from the local newspapers, we decided to head there at 9am in the morning to beat the crowd and have early breakfast. The travel fair was scheduled to open at 10am, and we reached on time, got a parking space within the Expo carpark and had our breakfast. We chatted a little, and when we finished breakfast, going through the newspapers and some idle chat, we realised that some people were already queueing at the ticket stands at about 930am. We joined the queue at about 945am and waited till 10am when they started selling the entrance tickets. We got in, went to the booth of the tour agent we intended to book the trip from, and got our tickets to Switzerland and Italy. As payment was made by credit card, certain gifts or freebies could be collected based on the credit card used. We proceeded to the redemption booth to get the freebies, which consisted of some travel bags. Just then, there was a sign placed at one of the booths for free tote bags, if you flash a certain credit card. The time was 11.00am and the guy at the booth indicated that the bags would be given out at 11.30am. At about 11.10am, a queue started forming at the tote bag counter. The queue got longer and longer, spilling over to the next area. At about 11.30am, I overheard the guy at the booth mentioning to his colleague, "It's not my fault, they started queueing themselves!".. and later on at about 11.45am, "Look at the queue, and the bags only arrived 5 mins ago!".. at about 12.00pm, everyone got their tote bags, and you could see the dissapointment in their faces when they found out that they were queueing for almost an hour for a small canvas bag... hahaha...

The thing with tea and management..

Ever wondered why every company has tea sessions where those that just join the company has tea with the senior management? And those tea sessions may probably be the only time you see the head or CEO or director. That is of course unless you're someone prominent or your work revolves around the management. Went for a tea session today, sometime after lunch. Before we reached there, I told my colleagues that the plan was to hide at one corner, make ourselves unnoticable, have some tea, and call it a day.
The plan was going very well, and management, as usual would turn up a little later, after everyone had time to settle down. Staying in the corner, at that time, seemed like a good idea. And as our big boss made his way through the door, I heaved a sigh of relief as he seemed to be headed another direction. Just then, he turns, faces us and walks to the wierd corner he wasn't supposed to. And the first group he meets, well, you guess it... it's us.
Actually, having conversation with your big boss isn't all that bad, especially when he doesn't really have much time but has to cover all new staff. We had our share of small talk with him, and a group of 'senior management' inches their way near him. he gets the hint, completes the conversation with a polite gesture, turns and faces them to continue a second round of conversation.
Some people tend to think that tea sessions are meant for the potential or gifted people to showcase their ability to converse and to impress the big boss. Me, I'm happy to have a nice cup of coffee, some casual conversation and a good break...hehe

Staying healthy 101...

Every weekend, me and my other half would make our way to a local stadium to jog... well, we skipped 3 weeks of jogging due to some personal matters, but well, we do try to keep up a routine. The previous time we were there, we set a target at 6 consecutive rounds without stopping. And seeing that we had previously made 5 rounds without breaking much of a sweat, 6 rounds wasn't much of a problem. This time though, it was a different. Breaking for 3 weeks is definitely taking its toll. One, age is catching up; Two, legs have not been moving much the past 3 weeks; Three, it's a Saturday...and I feel like sleeping la...
So we went ahead, this time setting a target of 7 rounds... by round 2, we were panting profusely...legs giving way, heartbeat unstable, sweat dripping.. by round 3, we were walking back to the stands to get water... I guess we will be less ambitious next week... maybe 3.5 rounds?
After the jog, we saw a guy walking up and down a staircase. Looking at the signboard, it was an uphill track up small Guilin. Seeing that we didn't want to continue the jog, we decided to brave the track. We saw a couple, in their 40s probably, climbing up the track, and so we followed closely behind, dodging trees and avoiding slippery steps.. and after half an hour of climbing, through toil and sweat, we were rewarded by the sight of a sign which read "lookout 3". We went to the lookout, and it was rewarding, standing there enjoying the breeze, looking down at the hill side and lake.... feels like a mini holiday..
But I have to say that the sight of a bunch of older folk exercising at the same lookout did throw off part of the fun... my god, how did these older folk actually get up here?!...

Excess? left-over? redundant? what's that word again?

It's one of those days, when I wonder what the heck am I doing here! I mean, seriously, have you felt like this when you're at work? Was at my bosses office today discussion on what I'm supposed to do. I'm not kidding, we were discussing 'what I'm supposed to do'. Can't blame the organisation, I'm only here for a month or so, and being relatively new, it's obvious that people won't trust you with major tasks or things that have implications. For my case, honeymoon is getting a little too long.
Back to the discussion. A month ago, I would give anything to just be able to get home a little earlier and catch some sleep. Sometimes, while rushing tender, I have to stay back till 9pm or so.....which is an improvement considering that I used to stay up to 3am in my past department. But, as age catches up, you can just feel the efficiency drop the moment you loose sleep. A month later, after the job change, I'm sitting at my cubicle at 6.00pm looking at all my colleagues go home one after another... 6.00pm! But seriously, sian la, the whole day nua... beh tahan leh... hehehe

work...work work work work...

Work... work work.. wonder what I'm going to do at work today... kinda got you conned that I was going to say I had too much work right? hehehe.. I guess being in a policy makers seat does have its advantage... first, you get to decide what you want to do... then you set the targets in accordance to what you think you can do, and then you do it. If it does not meet your targets, then shift the target or misinterpret your own original intention by playing with language and .. there you have it!... we have reached our targets!!!
And if all else fails, you can always turn around, and do this to the critics...




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Whiner..

Sometimes I really wonder why I whine so much. Actually, I wonder more why my buddies and friends bother to come to this website and hear me whine. I mean, things always seem to be alright or fine. Everyone seems to be nice and kind. My company pays well and does lots of things for us. Logically speaking, I should be thankful, appreciative and counting my blessings, but somehow, it just feels lethargic being in the state I'm in right now. Well, at least one buddy got pissed and wont be visiting here soon.
I guess it's kinda like midlife crisis, where you have a career, but you don't seem to have one. Where you have money, but it never seems to be enough to make ends meet, where you have friends but they're never near. Where you have a job, but have nothing to do. Sometimes, I just wished I was in the rat race. That way, I wouldn't have to think and I would be so bogged up with work that these things wouldn't even cross my mind.
I read a book which advocated that we should spend time writing what we want in life to remind us of the things that are really important to us. Try this little exercise. Pick up a pen and paper, write down 10 things that you want most in life. You'd probably realise that filling the 10 items isn't easy at all. Well, unless you list ferarri, peugeot, mercedes.. etc. which shows tons about your character development. I guess the key thing is, most of us either want the same things, family, security, early retirement... or we don't know what we want at all... I guess that when you age reaches the big 3, you'd start to think where you're heading and whether the ship can still be steared away from where you're heading.
Me, I'm glad I have great family and friends and an understanding companion. Life sucks, but with these people around me, it sure sucks less....

Chinglish?

Met this couple at the lift. They were talking about a colleague who kept saying "yeah su" (in mandarin) which translated meant Jesus. After numerous times of using "yeah su", they finally realised that what he intended to say was "yeh su" which meant coconut tree... I remember a cantonese movie at which a lady was being interrogated by the police. The police were baffled at her statement as she referred to "yam mou" (which meant pubic hair in cantonese) multiple times. One of them finally pointed out that maybe she was referring to "yam mau" which meant conspiracy.
Then there are the language translators which on surface seem to be quite alright. One friend asked me in cantonese whether "lei kum man yau mou hoong" translated as "do you have breasts tonight". After some probing, I realise that he direct translated the phrase from mandarin "ni zhing wan yeo mei yeo koong" which meant 'are you free tonight'!
One other guy who was trying to answer my query on whether he went pubbing, said "yat tim tim" in cantonese. "Ah? What does small dots have to do with pubbing?". And yet again, it came from "yi dian dian" in mandarin for 'sometimes'.
To top the language barrier problems up, I tried explaining a robbery by using the word "chiang jien" which meant 'rape' instead of 'chiang jie' which meant rob......

Farewell tune..

A senior management person in our company was scheduled to leave the company. Being proactive, some of my colleagues decided that we should sing a song to bid her farewell. And so, they arranged rehearsal sessions for us to sing. For the past few days some of us were exempted, as we were attending a course elsewhere. The course ended this morning and we had to return to the office. At 4.30pm, the rehearsals were supposed to begin. One of the colleagues, wanting to have some company join him for the singing went around asking ppl to go for rehearsals. A colleague reminded me that it was timely for a toilet break. Another rushed out for a meeting. One colleague hid beside the cubicle wall. Me? I was trying to hide in an empty cubicle. After getting caught for well "trying to arrange papers in the empty cubicle", someone else shouted that it was time to sing! A colleague hid under the table, while I went further in and used a chair to shield whatever I could. I guess they would've finished singing now, but safety first... I'm leaving before they decide to have more rehearsals! hehe

Arrrrgghhhh....another parking fine!!!!!

Went out for dinner with some of the guys at this very far place, and not being too familiar with the place, I parked my car somewhere near the shop houses. While we were having dinner, I suddenly remembered that I didn't put a parking coupon. And being an optimist, a buddy assured me that those parking attendants don't visit here at night... So, we had dinner, and sure enough, when I reached my car, there and behold was this little parking fine...
I remember an incident where 4 parking attendants were grouping at one car park and every 1 minute, they would take turns walking around and throwing summons to any car that did not have a coupon or had it placed too early or is expired. If any industry in this country have improved its efficiency, it would be the parking fine industry...
If only they handled other issues as effectively as the parking fines..

Err....French? German?..

Went for a forum today... lots of speakers talking about how you affect change and sharing philosophy. Initially, they had someone influential start the forum. Then, they proceeded with the Q&A sessions and asked if anyone had any queries. Just then this guy got up and posed a question. Ironic thing is that his question could not have been any less politically correct and being curious of what he intended to ask,I opened my ears wide. Actually had a hard time understanding what the heck the guy was trying to say! Then, thinking that this could've been a one off occurence, two other guys got up, did the same thing, and again, it made me wonder if they took english lessons from some Ivy League University that had a language of its own. Don't people use simple english anymore? During the tea break session, I asked one of my colleagues who those people were, and sure thing, those were scholars.... but that being said, it still feels funny to hear their politically correct questions and the equally politically correct responses. Maybe I opened my ears too wide....

The bridge troll's adventure...

In an island, a bridge troll, that newly migrated from his bridge to a new hut, was invited to attend a function to celebrate the village's 1st anniversary formation. Being new to the village, the bridge troll attended the village celebration for the entire day. During the celebrations, the villagers grouped into groups and went around performing village rites. Groups of villagers had to compete in aboroginal bonding activities and challenge each other to see which group is supreme. The troll, feeling awkward, found himself looking at the sky and thinking how nice it would be to have a cup of coffee with other bridge trolls under his bridge. But then again, in the future, after the troll is more familiar around the huts, perhaps the troll would be familiar with the huts and would then become a villager. Or perhaps, the villagers would all become trolls.... sigh, wonder what the other trolls are doing..

@#%$^$# door....

Whilst having refreshments at a talk today, I decided to get myself a cup of coffee outside the function room... I walked out and walked past a corridor and realised that the exit was way back the other way. Feeling sheepish, I went to the exit, pretended that I went to the other corridor on purpose and proceeded to open the door. As I tried to get out, I realised that the door wouldn't budge. I exerted more force and still the door didn't move. Some people in the function room started to look out and notice me. Just then a colleague shouted out,"press the exit button"... and I realised that more than half the room was looking at me. Deciding to exit asap I pressed the button, pushed as hard as I could and then tried to exit. Still, the @#$%@@ door wouldn't budge. Then, I heard my boss shout out,"you have to pull the door in first, press the button, then push it outwards. The door is a bit cranky". Without looking back, I pushed the button, got out of the door and finally got my machine dispensed cappucino.