Chinglish?

Met this couple at the lift. They were talking about a colleague who kept saying "yeah su" (in mandarin) which translated meant Jesus. After numerous times of using "yeah su", they finally realised that what he intended to say was "yeh su" which meant coconut tree... I remember a cantonese movie at which a lady was being interrogated by the police. The police were baffled at her statement as she referred to "yam mou" (which meant pubic hair in cantonese) multiple times. One of them finally pointed out that maybe she was referring to "yam mau" which meant conspiracy.
Then there are the language translators which on surface seem to be quite alright. One friend asked me in cantonese whether "lei kum man yau mou hoong" translated as "do you have breasts tonight". After some probing, I realise that he direct translated the phrase from mandarin "ni zhing wan yeo mei yeo koong" which meant 'are you free tonight'!
One other guy who was trying to answer my query on whether he went pubbing, said "yat tim tim" in cantonese. "Ah? What does small dots have to do with pubbing?". And yet again, it came from "yi dian dian" in mandarin for 'sometimes'.
To top the language barrier problems up, I tried explaining a robbery by using the word "chiang jien" which meant 'rape' instead of 'chiang jie' which meant rob......