Someone told me about disappointment in career, how they are not climbing fast enough in the corporate ladder and when they would get higher than where they currently are. Can't say that I wasn't affected, this applies to almost everyone at one point of their career and no one is ever high enough. You're a junior you want to be a senior. You become senior and you want to become a head. It goes on and on, and even until you get to become some director, there's still that senior director looming above you. While I know all this well enough, that still doesn't stop me from thinking what the hell am I doing with where I am. Is it good enough to be where I am, or do I really need that extra stress, to keep me feeling like I'm worth something? Then the inferiority complex kicks in and I am back where I started, wondering why I am still stuck where I am.
Then I start losing hope and motivation. I still have lots of work, and by far more work than a few people combined. But just doing work and completing stuff, doesn't really make you feel any happier or motivated. Then I try to psycho myself and tell me that there are more important things in life than just work tsk tsk.
I guess sometimes, we must realise that we are all just human, and we all want something better for ourselves. But demotivation might not be a bad thing. It stops you in your tracks and gives you a breather. It is times like this, when I give up hope and just tell myself to heck care the job and just remember to smell the flowers, that I feel human again. Listening to DAI's new single for Juuni Taisen, building my One Piece ship, spending some time catching up with my anime. Sigh, I really miss being just me, and not some mechanical tool who just does work after work after work after work after work.
Hehe... My new toy!! Keep alerting me when got message or notification from game, can change to batman watchface when I feel macho or hello kitty watchface when trying to act cute. Can play Eric chou song on watch and also Goblin soundtrack 'beautiful life'. Also during meeting can suddenly alert "I cannot understand your command. Please repeat your order". But still dem fun!! Huhuhuhu...
Went to a dentist, and had to do a root canal... My second one!!! Dem I'm getting old. Soon I will be Bo Geh. During the root canal ok, but after the anaesthetic worn off, fuwahhh dem kau pain!! At night also cannot sleep. Lucky got clover leaf oil.. Painful also, but numbs the area for about 10mins each application. Lasted like that for 2 days before it stabilized. Dem tooth. Aughhh.
Recalled the only major anime I missed was One Piece... have seen most of the rest; Bleach, Naruto Shippuuden, Hunter X Hunter, etc etc, but One Piece is probably the only one that I have not watched. Probably cos the type of art they used in the anime didn't really appeal to me and the number of episodes were crazy!! (was already at episode 760 when I started, no joke). But oh well, it fit my requirement for an anime I could watch and would not run out of episodes too fast. Fastforward a few weeks and... uhm... I am at episode 332!!! Almost at halfway point. Not a bad time filler and good way to de-stress after a long day. Sometimes wished we were like the protagonist, and just need to travel and fight to the death, and not have to work a single day of their lives.