I hate speeches...

Wonder why they always arrow me to do speeches. Everyone also got degree. Everyone also graduate. Everyone also can read and write. Everyone also got do composition and comprehension in english during their schooling days. But why I always kana speech writing? I also dunno. Maybe I got nerdy look. Or maybe my head got "Pick me!" sign. Dem. I hate speech writing.

My compositions used to be on Indiana Jones like stories with people flying all over the place, eating monkey brains and saving a girl from a giant gorilla like monster. Now I got to write politically correct things that have to do with stats and way forward and lessons learnt. Its like asking a truck driver to ride bicycle. Or a 'kuay tiao mee' seller to sell 'soon kueh'.

After a gruelling 1.5 minutes... I finally churned out a brilliant speech for them and hopefully, this
would be the last speech they'll ask me to write.
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Good Morning.

Everyone should know what accidents are. If you all can remember, we have so many accidents. In xxxx (I cannot remember the actual date), we had so many accidents starting from NH and followed days later by FP. It was very scary. I thought many people died, but they say only one Singaporean died, so not so bad.

So we are here today to learn about the accident. We dunno what happen, but it’s a catastrophe. Like something nobody wants to happen, but happen anyway. But we must learn from it. If we dun learn, it will happen again, and we don’t want it to happen again. So how? We review what happen and don’t do the same thing. We do everything differently and hopefully, the same accident won’t happen.

I think everyone here is capable and intelligent. No one here dunno how to read right? Later on we will give out some reading aids for everyone, just to make sure. Wait…. the lady below the stage say dun have reading aid. So…… we will assume that all of you can read.

Later on, got some people will talk to you about safety and other things. So you just listen. Listen and learn. And if can, jot down some notes to share with your family and friends. Share with them on what not to do to avoid accident at home. And if they contractor, maybe they can also send to their boss, and their boss will learn. If every one day one person learn, in one year only, 365 people will learn. And if say 10% of people are accident prone, then we would have already saved 36.5 people's lives, 36 people round down.

Ok. I think I impart too much knowledge aredy. You guys just get prepared to be safe…or be sorry. I will now pass you to the rest of the not so important people to impart some of their knowledge to you.

Good night and thank you.